Adult Dirty Msgss

aDuLt sMs JoKeSs


ANTI MISBA & LULLI PROBLEM

Bubbli:
“Mein ne suna hai tere husbnd
ke lulli choti hai,tu talaq le le”
.
.
.
Anti Misba:
“Talaq kb ke le chuki hoti agr
mohle k mardon ka asra na hot”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA KE SEX LIFE

Bubbli:
“Etne saalon bad mele ho,How’s ur sex life”
.
.
.
Anti Misba:
“Wohi jo school k zmane mein the….
…Ten to Twelve customers a day”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA & BUBBLI

Bubbli:
“Tu hr saal pregnant hoti thi ab 2 saal
ho gae pr koe bcha nhe”
.
Anti Misba:
“Jb se Major Rohail ne Retirment le hai
wo ghar pr he rehte hai”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANGERY MAJOR ROHAIL

Major Rohail guse se:
“Mera dil chahta hai k tera khoon pee jao”
.
Anti Misba:
“Pehle btana that ab to PERIODS khtm ho gae”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TOOTLI ANTI MISBA

Tootli Anti Misba suit rungwany gae
Anti Misba to Rungwala
.
“Lunn walay mele choot mein aisa lunn
daalna k choot phat jaye magal lunn na nekle”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA & ABORTION

Anti Misba:
“Kunwari beti ka abortion krwana hai”
.
Dr.
“Gunah wale kam kyo krte ho?”
.
Anti Misba:
“Mein ne b ese yhe smjaya tha k gunah
se behtar hai k tu condom use kya kr”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

MAJOR ROHAIL KE TARAQI

Anti Misba:
“Mere husband Major Rohail ke tqraqi ho gae”
.
Bubbli:
“V.good Tuje kese pta chla”
.
Anti Misba:
“Aj un ke GAND se khoon nekl rha tha”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA “A” GRADE

Anti Misba:
“A grade chdva k lya”
.
Beti:
“Sb larkeo ne ek ek # k lye ek ek dfa chudvya”
.
Misba:
“Chudva k A grade lene se B grade behtr tha”
.
Beti:
“Mom mera F grade bnta tha”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mr. LORA……

Kya tumhary ek ankh hai
.
Kya tum chota baray ho skte ho
.
Kya tum chote surakh me ja skte ho
.
Kya tum muu se pani ur malai nekal skte ho
.
Nahi na..?
.
Beta sirf shakal LUN jese hone se koe
Mr.Lora
Nhe bn skta

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

N.W.F.P

N=No
W=Women
F=For
P=Phatans

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

GANDHI

What is common b/n
Indra Gandhi
&
Sonia Gandhi
.
Nipples of both were sucked by
Rajiv Gandhi

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TRANSLATION

Trnaslate into URDU/HINDI
.
“RAJU united his mother & Sisiter”
.
.
.
.
.
.
Raju ne us ke maa behan ek kr de

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PENIS TAG

Some one asked me to put a suitable
Instruction TAG on PENIS
.
.
.
I wrot
“Shake well before use”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FIRST SCHOOL SEX

SON:
Dad aj mein ne school me sex kya
.
Dad:
“Wah mera beta jawan ho gya,Aao celebrate kre”
.
Son:
“Aj nhe dad aj mere gand mein both dard ho rha hai”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FARZANA & FARAZ

Farzana BB hogae hai khuch Naraz
.
Wah wah
.
Farzana BB ho gae hai khuch Naraz
.
Q K
.
Un K Mummay daba ker bhag gya hai Faraz

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ONE TATTA

Girl during sex zor zor se hsne lgi

Boy:
Kya hova..?:
.
Girl:
Tumhara ek he TATTA hai
.
Boy:
Han doosra abi SMS parh rha hai

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TUMHARI BV

Ek din tere shadi ho ge
.
Phir tere BV k pait mein mera
.
Mera?
.
Mera?
.
Mera?
.
Mera
.
Hahahaha
.
Bhatija hoga
.
Shram nhi aati
Dost pr shak krte ho

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PISTOL & YOU

Mein ne suna hai kl raat kse ne
Ap ke kanpati pr PISTOL rakh dya
Ur app ko 2 option dya
.
.
Jan do
Ya
Gand do
.
.
Aj ap ko zinda dekh kr…….

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BAD TIME

Jb kse pr bura waqat aata hai to us ke sari
Family ur us k sare dost us k peche khre hote hai
.
.
.
Yakeen nhe aata to
.
.
.
Kse ke b shadi ka PHOTO dekh lo

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BAD NEWS

Bad news ab LUN pr b TAX lge ga
.
9 inch=Rs.1000
7 inch=Rs.500
5 inch=Rs250
.
Tum preshan na ho
LULLI pr koe TAX nhe

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

EXPLAIN LOVE

Love kese hota hai..?
.
“L” ko pakar k
“O” ko daba k
“V” main daalo jab
“E” ke awaz aye to smjo LOVE ho gya

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

APP KO MUBARAK HO

Mubarak ho Government ne app ke sun le,
.
Ab app khush ho jao
.
Market mein ek inch ke LULLI
wala condom bhe aa gya hai

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

3 IMPORTANT THINGS

Machli ur larki khud phsane ka mza atta hai
.
Kse ka Lun ur Kanoon kbi hatth me na lo
.
Tatton ur nookri ko kbi laat na maro

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

POLICE & NARGIS

Police:
“Madam es pool me nahana mna hai”
.
Nargis:
“Jb mein kapre uttar rhe the tb Q nhe btya”
.
Police:
“Nahane pr pabndi hai kapre uttarne pr ne”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

HUSBANDS

At the start of a married life
Every girl treats her husband as
“GOD”
Later on
Somehow the alphabets get
“REVERSED”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ALLAH NEGEHBAN

Aj k lye etna he
Ab hme ejazat dejye
Ap se kl phir mulaqat ho ge
Ese waqat
Ese jga
Ese network pr
Ese mobile
Ur
Ese nmber pr
Apna Khyal rakhye ga
Allah Negehban

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Superb sms messages

aDuLt sMs JoKeSs


ANTI MISBA & LULLI PROBLEM

Bubbli:
“Mein ne suna hai tere husbnd
ke lulli choti hai,tu talaq le le”
.
.
.
Anti Misba:
“Talaq kb ke le chuki hoti agr
mohle k mardon ka asra na hot”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA KE SEX LIFE

Bubbli:
“Etne saalon bad mele ho,How’s ur sex life”
.
.
.
Anti Misba:
“Wohi jo school k zmane mein the….
…Ten to Twelve customers a day”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA & BUBBLI

Bubbli:
“Tu hr saal pregnant hoti thi ab 2 saal
ho gae pr koe bcha nhe”
.
Anti Misba:
“Jb se Major Rohail ne Retirment le hai
wo ghar pr he rehte hai”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANGERY MAJOR ROHAIL

Major Rohail guse se:
“Mera dil chahta hai k tera khoon pee jao”
.
Anti Misba:
“Pehle btana that ab to PERIODS khtm ho gae”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TOOTLI ANTI MISBA

Tootli Anti Misba suit rungwany gae
Anti Misba to Rungwala
.
“Lunn walay mele choot mein aisa lunn
daalna k choot phat jaye magal lunn na nekle”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA & ABORTION

Anti Misba:
“Kunwari beti ka abortion krwana hai”
.
Dr.
“Gunah wale kam kyo krte ho?”
.
Anti Misba:
“Mein ne b ese yhe smjaya tha k gunah
se behtar hai k tu condom use kya kr”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

MAJOR ROHAIL KE TARAQI

Anti Misba:
“Mere husband Major Rohail ke tqraqi ho gae”
.
Bubbli:
“V.good Tuje kese pta chla”
.
Anti Misba:
“Aj un ke GAND se khoon nekl rha tha”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANTI MISBA “A” GRADE

Anti Misba:
“A grade chdva k lya”
.
Beti:
“Sb larkeo ne ek ek # k lye ek ek dfa chudvya”
.
Misba:
“Chudva k A grade lene se B grade behtr tha”
.
Beti:
“Mom mera F grade bnta tha”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mr. LORA……

Kya tumhary ek ankh hai
.
Kya tum chota baray ho skte ho
.
Kya tum chote surakh me ja skte ho
.
Kya tum muu se pani ur malai nekal skte ho
.
Nahi na..?
.
Beta sirf shakal LUN jese hone se koe
Mr.Lora
Nhe bn skta

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

N.W.F.P

N=No
W=Women
F=For
P=Phatans

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

GANDHI

What is common b/n
Indra Gandhi
&
Sonia Gandhi
.
Nipples of both were sucked by
Rajiv Gandhi

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TRANSLATION

Trnaslate into URDU/HINDI
.
“RAJU united his mother & Sisiter”
.
.
.
.
.
.
Raju ne us ke maa behan ek kr de

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PENIS TAG

Some one asked me to put a suitable
Instruction TAG on PENIS
.
.
.
I wrot
“Shake well before use”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FIRST SCHOOL SEX

SON:
Dad aj mein ne school me sex kya
.
Dad:
“Wah mera beta jawan ho gya,Aao celebrate kre”
.
Son:
“Aj nhe dad aj mere gand mein both dard ho rha hai”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FARZANA & FARAZ

Farzana BB hogae hai khuch Naraz
.
Wah wah
.
Farzana BB ho gae hai khuch Naraz
.
Q K
.
Un K Mummay daba ker bhag gya hai Faraz

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ONE TATTA

Girl during sex zor zor se hsne lgi

Boy:
Kya hova..?:
.
Girl:
Tumhara ek he TATTA hai
.
Boy:
Han doosra abi SMS parh rha hai

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TUMHARI BV

Ek din tere shadi ho ge
.
Phir tere BV k pait mein mera
.
Mera?
.
Mera?
.
Mera?
.
Mera
.
Hahahaha
.
Bhatija hoga
.
Shram nhi aati
Dost pr shak krte ho

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PISTOL & YOU

Mein ne suna hai kl raat kse ne
Ap ke kanpati pr PISTOL rakh dya
Ur app ko 2 option dya
.
.
Jan do
Ya
Gand do
.
.
Aj ap ko zinda dekh kr…….

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BAD TIME

Jb kse pr bura waqat aata hai to us ke sari
Family ur us k sare dost us k peche khre hote hai
.
.
.
Yakeen nhe aata to
.
.
.
Kse ke b shadi ka PHOTO dekh lo

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BAD NEWS

Bad news ab LUN pr b TAX lge ga
.
9 inch=Rs.1000
7 inch=Rs.500
5 inch=Rs250
.
Tum preshan na ho
LULLI pr koe TAX nhe

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

EXPLAIN LOVE

Love kese hota hai..?
.
“L” ko pakar k
“O” ko daba k
“V” main daalo jab
“E” ke awaz aye to smjo LOVE ho gya

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

APP KO MUBARAK HO

Mubarak ho Government ne app ke sun le,
.
Ab app khush ho jao
.
Market mein ek inch ke LULLI
wala condom bhe aa gya hai

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

3 IMPORTANT THINGS

Machli ur larki khud phsane ka mza atta hai
.
Kse ka Lun ur Kanoon kbi hatth me na lo
.
Tatton ur nookri ko kbi laat na maro

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

POLICE & NARGIS

Police:
“Madam es pool me nahana mna hai”
.
Nargis:
“Jb mein kapre uttar rhe the tb Q nhe btya”
.
Police:
“Nahane pr pabndi hai kapre uttarne pr ne”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

HUSBANDS

At the start of a married life
Every girl treats her husband as
“GOD”
Later on
Somehow the alphabets get
“REVERSED”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ALLAH NEGEHBAN

Aj k lye etna he
Ab hme ejazat dejye
Ap se kl phir mulaqat ho ge
Ese waqat
Ese jga
Ese network pr
Ese mobile
Ur
Ese nmber pr
Apna Khyal rakhye ga
Allah Negehban

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sexy Msgs

AdULt SmS jOkEsS


Tax Collection

Major Rohail: Why my mom was charged 40% annual tax

Officer: Sir tax is 30% on commercial property and extra 10% for rental use

………………………..…………………………………………………………..

Faraz & Major Rohail

Ham ne tu usay ajnabi smjha tha Faraz

Pr wo Major Rohail tu meri he najaez aulaad nikli

…………………………………………………………………………………………
Information & Data

Whats the difference b/w Information & Data

An information is 362436
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
&
.
.

A data is
36-24-36

………………………………………………………………………………………


Manstural Cycle

Major Rohail : Want to fuck

Misba: I m having manstural cycle

Major Rohail: Oh acha I have Honda CD 70

………………………………………………………………

Chicken & Baby

Difference b/w
Chicken
&
baby
.
.
.
.
Chicken is result of patiently sitting hen
&
Baby is result of impatiently standing cock

…………………………………………………………………………….

Snow storm & men

What is common b/w
men
&
snow storm

U never know when they are coming
.
How many inches u will get
.
How long they will last

………………………………………………………………………….

Cycle & Gashti

Difference b/w

Cycle
&
Gashti

Jo sb larko k sath sex kre wo cycle
Jo sb k sath kre ur app k sath nhe wo gashti

……………………………………………………………………………………

Four animals & a women

Four animals found in women’s panty
A pussy,
Hare,
an ass
&
.
.
.
occasionally a cock

…………………..………………………………………………………..

Types of Women’s sex

Women hv 4 types of sex

Asthmatic: ahh ah oh oh aah
Obedient: ya yes oh yes yes
Greedy: more,more,plz more
Religious: oh God, oh God, oh Oh God

……………………………………………………………………………..

Bill Clinton & His grl frnd

What did Bill Clinton said
when he was accused of copying home work from his grl frnd at oxford

“” I don’t hv any textual relation with tht woman””

…………………………………………………………………………

Bulb or Bowling Ball

What would u rather b a bulb or a bowling ball?

It depends if u would like to

Get screwed
Or
Fingered

………………………………………………………………………
Send me SMS

Santa
Banta
Fazaz
Major Rohail
Sardar
Pathan
Anti Misba
Nargis
Malika Shirawat
Zardari
Musharaf
Bubbli
Pappu

K bad ab apke bari b a skti hy
Is lye jaldi jaldi

Sms kro

……………………………………………………………………….

Qaumi Versa

SmS heroes
Santa, Banta,
Pthan,
Major Rohail,
Sardar,
Zardari,
Anti Misba,
Nargis,
Bubbli,
Malika Shirawat,
Musharaf
Hmara Qaumi versa hein
in ka ehtram tm pr wajib hy

…………..…..……………………………………………………..

2008 SMS Awards

10th- Santa Banta
9th-Musharaf
8th- Major Rohail
7th- Pathan
6th- Anti Misba
5th- Nargis
4th- Saradr
3rd-Zardari
2nd- Bush
.
.
who’s 1st
.
.
.
1st- Faraz

…………………….……………………………………………………

Right Hand

Ur B.v is ur right hand
But when ur b.v is gone

Ur right hand neighbour becomes ur b.v

When ur right hand neighbor is also gone

Ur right hand becomes ur b.v

……………………………………………………………………………

Next Morning


What did Major Rohail said to his wife after suhag raat sex?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Allah de vaste svere shareeke nu na dessei,
nae ta mre bari bisti hoe ge

…………………………………………………………………………….

Up & Down
Up
n
Down
Oh no
Up
Up
And
Up
Oh good
Down
Down
Down
Stop
Oh not again
Up
Up
Up
Oper
Niche
Oper
Niche
Shit yar
Ye gas ur petrol k price kbe upper kbe niche

………………………………...…………………………………………….

Bubbli on Suhagraat

Husband- jaanu apko aj sex kr k kesa lga

.
.
.
Bubbli- bssss college ke yad aa gye ;)

……………………………………………………………………..…………

Tight Phuddi

kya apke phuddi tight hy?

Bubbli: khudi check kr lo,
eg unli dalo, dusri ungli dalo,
hath dalo,
gud dusra hath dalo,
ab taali bjao………
nhe bajti na?
Dekha meri kitni tight hy

………………………………………………………………………………….


Types of Women sex:

Women hv 4 types of sex

Asthematic- ahhh ahh ohh ah ahhhhh

Obedient- yess yess yaaa ys yesss

Greedy- more,more,more,plz more

Religious- oh God.....oh God,Oh God

_________________________________________________
Major Rohail & MIlking Machine


Major Rohail tried cow's milking machine on his penis

He had a lot of fun, but when he was unable to remove it

He got faint after reading manual

""Autorelease after 5 liters""

__________________________________________

Major Rohail & Wife

Major Rohail: jaanu aj hmari shaadi ko pure 5 sal ho gy
Tmhe kis din sex ka sb se zeada mza ayaa

Anti Misba: (sharmate hue)…..Us din
Jb ap Islamabad gy hue thai
________________________________________________
Jaadugar

Anti Misba with open legs Asked Rohail to fuck her

Anti Misba: Hmara bacha hoga tu hm uska kya nam rkhein ge???
Major Rohail Condom pehente charhate hue bola:

Agr ab b ho gya tu Jaadugar
__________________________________________

__________________________________________________

Fucking Malika Shirawat

Whats the difference b/w
Fucking Malika Shrawat and Fucking Major Rohail’s mom

When you fuck Malika Shrawat
She get paid
But
When u fuck Major Rohail’s mom
U get paid
________________________________________________________

No Rishta

Anti Misba: Ab mera tmhara koe rishta nhe rha
Mei tmhare de hue sb chizen wapis krna chahti hu

Major Rohail: okay
Lets start with kisses

__________________________________________________

Sex ka Maza

Rohail: jaanu aj hmari shaadi ko pure 5 sal ho gy
Tmhe kis din sex ka sb se zeada mza ayaa

Misba: (sharmate hue)…..Us din
Jb ap Islamabad gy hue thai

___________________________________________